I’m at work getting ready to go in and write a report. Just sitting in the park right now. I upset Mercedes earlier by open my big mouth as usual. It just sucked not getting to talk to her. I knew she was doing her schedule but I always wanna talk to her. I was acting like a baby, I know.
I hope she is still ignoring everything that might come through. I’m trying not to bring it up b/c I don’t want our days to change or be bad.
Next Wednesday is our 2 year anniversary. Her friend text her tonight and said “I hope you and Michelle are having a good anniversary” that was cute. I know Mercedes is happy about next week and so am I. I’ve never made a relationship last this long. I didn’t think I could. I always seemed to push people away or the fucked me over. There have been a few times where I thought I was about to lose Mercedes but luckily she didn’t leave me. I hope she really knows how happy I am to have her. It sucks going home the nights she is not there b/c I have the hardest time sleeping without her. I can’t wait till we can move in together. It’s going to make us and our lives so much easier. Seeing her everyday is what I dream about. It’ll happen one day. For sure. Every morning waking up to her, every night going to sleep next to her. My dream come true.
I love you dear. Forever and always! To the moon and back. More than you’ll ever know!
Xoxo
I don’t know…
Today is another new day. I should be happy I am even alive because some people didnt wake up this morning. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be here. For sure. But I’m a little on the down side. I really don’t know why either. Mercedes and I haven’t got much time to talk today. She is at Starbucks now with someone she works with and isn’t texting me at all so it’s not helping my mood. I’m sitting in the parking lot at work just crying, like a damn baby. This is so pitiful. I don’t know what my problem is. Why I’m in such a down mood right now. I wish it would change. I hope it does soon because I don’t like it. Gotta pick myself up. Quit being a damn baby.
Update
So I haven’t got a chance to really write in a few days. Mercedes and I went to the Jason Aldean concert Sunday night in Austin. It was absolutely amazing. We danced together, sang together, held one another..it was the best night. I had such a great time! I couldn’t have been there with anyone else. Because I was with Mercedes that made my day. She has stayed here with me the past two nights, it’s gonna be so hard when she leaves for work in the morning. I’m gonna miss her like crazy like I always do. We are dealing with our situation and moving past everything. She told the bitch to cut all communication so hopefully she understands. She cussed her out Saturday and told her she wish she never came into her life. That made me feel good because it has definitely thrown us for a loop. But we are getting back on track with just being us. We only have a few more weeks till we hit 2 years. I can not wait. 2 years with the love of my Life. Forever will be so perfect. Mercedes will never know what she means to me. Watching her sleep now is just so amazing to me. She is mine. All mine. It’s just her and I. She is so perfect. I never thought I could find someone like her, and now look, almost two years. I’m so grateful, proud and happy she is mine. I love her more than anything. She is my world, my best friend, my love and wife. Without her I wouldn’t be able to make it through the day. She is all I think about. I always wanna talk to her. I want to see her everyday and one day I will. I can’t wait for that day.
I love you baby!
Xoxo
Just Monday..
I wish Mercedes was here and not at work. Things are always so much better when we are together. These past few days when I’m by myself I sometimes think about the past. I don’t know why. Things are going good with Mercedes and I so why am I being so stupid. I know Mercedes isn’t talking to her at all, I know she has nothing to do with her any more so why am I being so STUPID! Fuck I need to get over this. I know it’s not happening and won’t happen again so why am I like this. I hate myself right now.
Mercedes gets off work soon and we are going to lunch before I have to go to work. Every second I get with her I always love. There is no one that could love her the way I do. She has all of me. Every inch of me belongs to her.
I love you sweetheart!
Xoxo
It’s killed me to sit here all day after the night Mercedes and I had. I’m thinking so much random stuff. I hate it. I’m so insecure about myself it sucks. I always think what if Mercedes was happier or wanted to be with someone else for good. It kills me to think of her being with someone else. It’s gonna take time before this completely goes away but it will happen. Mercedes does so much for us. I need to be able to do better for her and us.
So I didn’t really want the night to end like it did. Mercedes and I played around for a little while and then got onto a topic that put both of us in kind of a bad mood. I hate it. She knows I’m not over everything yet but it almost feels like she expects me to be. We can’t really talk about anything b/c someone always gets upset so we kind of just have to keep things quiet and try to move on. We have been doing well there is no doubt about that. Idk what happen tonight. I want us to be closer. I definitely didn’t want the night to end the way it did. I thought we’d be holding each other as we fell asleep in one another’s arms but that didn’t happen. I feel like she is annoyed with me in someway. Idk. I could tell something was different with her, just not sure what. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.
Dear, I love you and I’m sorry if I upset you. I know that’s one subject we really can’t talk about so I will find my ways of moving on. I don’t want us going backwards. WE have to move on together. You and I. We can’t do it alone. I’m sorry if I’m slowing down the process. I’m sorry for all the problems I’ve caused us. Thank you for all you do and have been doing. Have a good day. I love you
Xoxo
💞💋💞
1 year 11 months 💞
There is no doubt Mercedes and I relationship has been through hell and back but through it all we are able to celebrate again today. We made a year and 11 months today. Just one more month and it will make 2 whole years. I always wanted to make it with Mercedes. I knew when I tried getting her back two years ago that I wanted her. Just didn’t know if she wanted me the same. We’ve definitely had our share of problems but it has made us stronger. Shown us different lessons and showed us that all we need is one another. No one else, just us. That’s the only way we’ll make it. I love her. I love her with all my ❤. Everything inside of me is Mercedes. I’m glad we’ve been able to fight through the problems. I’m hoping she will make all of her social media stuff private. I know that will help us out as well, but it’s up to her. I’m just glad we made it to this day and are so close to an even bigger one next month.
I love you dear! Thank you for everything you do. I know you do so much for this relationship and me. You do so much. You sacrifice so much. I know it’s not easy. But I thank you every day! You’re great! You’re beautiful, amazing, sweet and MINE! I love you!
Happy anniversary!
Xoxo
